No matter her shape, size, age, or position, there is something beautiful about a woman who unleashes her honest and authentic self to the world.

To be clear, I always find my wife, Vanessa, to be beautiful. But just as cookie dough ice cream has different layers of deliciousness, there’s the ice cream, the dough, the chocolate chips, I see different layers of beauty in my wife as well…

  • “You just woke up, and your breath isn’t that great, but I’d still love to kiss you.”
  • “Looking hot in your workout gear.”
  • “Dressed up and ready to go on a date.”
  • “Loving and tender grandma Banessa.”

And of course, there’s also the “I’m pretending to brush my teeth, but I’m actually watching you take a shower.” I’m the only one that gets to see that though.

However, there’s one layer of beauty that trumps them all.

It’s the beauty she radiates when she lets go of her fear of offending others and lovingly and authentically shares her unfiltered wisdom and insights with the world.

Unapologetically Authentic

I watched Vanessa share a FB Live with her team. As I watched, I found myself thinking, “Holy s#|t! That’s my wife! She is beautiful! What a badass!”

As someone experienced in social media, one of Vanessa’s greatest pains has been to watch women misuse social media to build a home-based business. They litter their news feeds with ads for their products. They copy and paste each others’ words. They easily fall into the habit of doing what they see others doing online.

They miss the opportunity to authentically share their own wisdom and add value to those they influence, and instead interrupt and irritate their friends and followers.

Vanessa had reached a point where her level of frustration was far greater than the fear of offending a few of her followers.

I watched the passion, certainty, strength, power, heart, sincerity, and yes…beauty, burst out of her.

For those who took her words to heart, I have no doubt she helped them. I’m also confident that she pissed a few people off.

You influence people who love you, and you move people who hate you. But you do little for the people who just like you.

Women often have so much more of themselves they could share, but they get hung up by the fear of someone getting upset, or unliking, unfriending, or talking poorly about them.

As a result, they live their lives like they’re vanilla ice cream.

Vanilla Ice Cream

Have you ever experienced an emotional response to vanilla ice cream? I doubt it. You probably didn’t leave a restaurant, cafe, or a dinner party and say, “I have to get more of that.” Almost anybody will eat it, but nobody talks about it.

Offer an ice cream that’s off the charts in how it tastes, like Black, Toasted Coconut, or LSD from Milkjam Creamery in Minneapolis, and you’ll have a line of people down the sidewalk wanting to experience what you offer.

Some might give Milkjam a try and say, “That was awful!” Most will say, “That was amazing!” And they all go home and talk about it, and probably come back again.

But there’s no vanilla on the menu, ’cause let’s get real. Who would want to come back for that?

Get To The Good Stuff

I have replayed the experience of watching Vanessa over and over in my head. On the one hand, I feel blessed, fortunate…lucky even that she’s my wife.

On the other hand, I feel bummed that she doesn’t feel the freedom to be herself all the time. And she’s a powerful woman.

Which makes me even sadder knowing that there are many other women without the strength she has, who get by every day, playing it safe; being vanilla ice cream.

What wonderful flavor are you hiding from the world? I’m sure it’s nothing short of beautiful badassness.